I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
