Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
