and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize