I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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