ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
