I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
