What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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