I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
