Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
