We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Come see our sink grown plant.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
