i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
