Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
