No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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