I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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