Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
