3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
