Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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