Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.