4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.