My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
