Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
