i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
