I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
