I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
