koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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