his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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