they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
