It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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