Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
