Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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