I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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