Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
