maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
