they need to just BURY HIM!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
