Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
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Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
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