I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
