paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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