Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
