I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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