MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
