wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize