yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
