if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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