dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
