i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
