I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
