I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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