I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
