wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
