I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
