YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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