I need to stop coming to work sober
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
