Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
