she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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