ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize