Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
