So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
