life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
