Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
