There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize