I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sober January is a disaster.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize