I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
